In today’s technology driven world, more and more teenage boys are become isolated and lacking motivation to participate in normal everyday activities or in activities that progress them along a valued growth pattern. For immediate help call 800-675-8101.
This lack of motivation shows up primarily in boys who have built patterns of doing what is “fun” or “easy” and have not found worth in doing those things that show a sense of responsibility or forward thinking. Many parents have experienced this problem to one degree or another with their children, but may not have expected that their boy’s lack of motivation could lead to real trouble down the road.
Where does a lack of motivation come from?
Motivation itself is not generally the issue. Most troubled teens do not lack motivation for the things they enjoy, i.e., skateboarding, video games and watching T.V. etc. They are lacking motivation for those things such as service, work, group dynamics, education, job related items and other chores or processes that may not bring immediate pleasure or self-actualization.
They have not learned how to think in the group mentality or value the family/group dynamic, but instead see only value in those things that are beneficial to their needs. They also fail to identify with failure because they rarely place themselves in situations that will cause it on any large scale. They tend to live life in a bubble, and do not see the effects that can be waiting for them down the road due to their poor decision making skills.
How do I motivate my troubled boys?
One way to teach young boys to increase motivation for the right things is to make kids work for what they want. Parents, believing they are acting out of love, often give their children too many things without making them work for them. Then when the child expects to get things for nothing they wonder why they are not appreciative – always wanting more and more, without making any effort themselves.
There is tremendous growth that happens when a boy realizes that hard work can benefit them in life. Once they see work as a means to getting what they want, then parents need to reinforce the behavior and reward them with emotional support and coaching and not always with material gifts. As they grasp the concept of work-reward they will begin to experience the satisfaction that comes from accomplishing tasks that benefit people and systems outside of themselves.