Archives for May 2017

Helping Teens Move Past A Fist Fight In School

The school environment can be a tough place to survive in. All the popularity contests, jealousy's, rumors, and cliques can lead to a lot of frustration in the daily life of a teen. With all these things going on in their lives, it isn’t surprising to hear of an occasional fight here and there; but what if fighting becomes more frequent? What if your teen's aggression transitions into the home or affects their academic life? You may have cause for concern, so it is important to help teens move past their fights and feel the love that others have for them.

Why Do Teens Fight?

There are many different occurrences that can cause a fight to break out. Some are more common than others and if you can identify what is causing your teen to fight, you may have an easier time helping them. Here are some of the top reasons your teen may have gotten into a fight according to this list.

  • They were insulted
  • Ongoing feud or disagreement
  • They were hit or shoved
  • Someone spread rumors about someone else
  • They couldn’t control their anger

Chances are, the fight that a teen gets in falls in these main categories.

Ways To Calm The Aggression

A fist fight is a serious thing to deal with so it has to be dealt with carefully. In a perfect world, we could stop teens from fighting just by telling them why it is a bad idea; however, one of the best ways to stop the fighting is to help them feel loved and want to change themselves. Here are a few of the most effective ways a parent can help calm their teen...

Be A Listener

In the swarm of students at school, it is easy for a teen to feel underrepresented. They may just be feeling a lack of attention and feel like no one understands them. This is why it is so important to listen to them, even if they are wrong. Encourage them to talk.

Avoid Finger Pointing

Constantly blaming or ridiculing your child is not a good idea. There is always an underlying reason for fighting and at the core of that may just be the lack of love they are receiving from their peers. Tell them clearly that you know what they did and that it was wrong, but be careful to not blame them for everything that went wrong. Seek to understand their view point and let the conversation go from there.

At times, a teen just needs their personal space. Especially right after an episode, it may be a good idea to wait a bit before talking to them. Let them have their space to cool down before attempting a conversation. You'll both have clearer heads going into an already difficult conversation.

There is hope for every teen, and there is always a reason why they are behaving abnormally. If this is a continuing problem with your teen and you are just not sure where to go at this point, you may consider Liahona Academy for treatment and behavioral correction. Problems like this that go unsolved can lead to more struggles later in life, with severe cases ending up in jail. We can help your teen start a path to a happier, calmer life.

Working With Your Teen To Find Their Passion And Avoid Pushing Your Own Agenda

If you were a star athlete in high school, then maybe you dream of cheering your child on from the stands as they follow in your foot steps. If you were a performer then you hope to watch your own child act or sing on stage. While it is common for teenagers to pursue the passions of their parents, there are also times when teenagers find their own passion and that can be hard for a parent to accept. Here is what you should do if your child doesn't share your passion.

Stop Living in the Past

You're time in the spotlight is over, and right now it's all about your child. Stop bringing out your football highlight video and reliving those high school glory days. This will make your teen feel like their own accomplishments could never compare to yours. From now on, unless your child asks to hear about the time you intercepted the football, scored a touchdown and won state for your team, go ahead and keep that story yourself.

Help Them Find Their Passion

Finding the right balance between schooling and extra-curricular activities can help protect your child from delinquent activity. If your child hasn't found something that they really love doing, help them find out what it is. This can be done by encouraging them to try many different things. Through your local Parks and Recreation you can enroll them in different city programs, from various sports to art or cooking classes; by trying a variety of hobbies, your child will likely find something that they really love.

Learn More About Their Passion

The last thing you want to do as a parent is to drift away from your teenager, but when you don't share common interests, this can easily happen. To remain close to your teen, it's important that you learn more about their hobby and take an active interest in it. If you grew up hating sports but your son loves basketball, find someone to help you understand the rules. Although you won't be an expert right away, your child will appreciate the time and effort you've taken to learn more about what they care about, bringing you closer together.

Celebrate Their Strengths

Although you might not share the same excitement for your child's hobby, be sure to always recognize and celebrate their strengths. If you hate classical music but have a child who loves being in the symphony, you need to be at every performance cheering the loudest so your child knows you're proud of their strengths, even if they differ from your own. This will create a lasting bond between you and your child.

Letting go of your own passions and learning to accept your child's can be difficult, but forgetting yourself and helping them find a hobby they love will go a long way in keeping you and your teenager close.

How Something As Small As Turning Off Notifications Makes Social Media Less Time Consuming

Interacting with teenagers can be intimidating, and having them constantly glued into their phones can make it even trickier. Can’t we all find ourselves a little too plugged in from time to time? Media and technology addiction is real, and can interfere with our ability to communicate with others if we let it. Once we’ve grown accustomed to a certain level of media time, it can be difficult to wean ourselves. It’s even more difficult to encourage our teens to spend less time on social media. So instead of fighting a long and ugly battle, start with one tiny thing.

Turn Off Notifications

You don’t need to fight with your teen to delete apps off their phone, take away their data, hound them constantly, or eventually revoke device privileges. None of these measures will effectively keep your teen from time consuming social media, anyway. Simply keeping them from social media will only make them want it more! Still, you need to place rules and guidelines around social media use in the home.

Instead, ask them to just turn off notifications for their social media apps. lt will even help if you pledge to do it with them. Go into settings and turn off notifications, sound alerts, notification bubbles, and push notifications for all social media. This means they won’t get constant pinging every time someone “likes” their posts or mentions them in a tweet. It means they won’t be scrambling for their phone every time there is a noise or a bubble catches their eye. It’s a quick and easy way to decrease social media time without putting hard deadlines or punishments on their fun time.

Why?

Turning off notifications takes away the power of social media to interrupt or control your teen’s time. How often have you noticed them pull away from a conversation, or take tens of micro-breaks in their study to respond to a ding of social media notifications? It’s hard not to feel like you’re missing out on something when the numbers of posts and responses are climbing. Instead, turning off notifications gives your teen (and you) a sense of control over social media and device usage.

Simply turning off notifications can teach your teen how to self-monitor and control their social media usage, and to not be controlled by it. It’s an easy way to begin involvement in your teen’s social media life without being overbearing or causing conflict.

Social Media Trouble

If you fear that your teen is too far gone for a straightforward notifications adjustment, you may need more serious help. If your troubled teen is involved with pornography, bullying, violence, or sexual promiscuity then he may be using social media to further those habits. Removing him from the situation with individualized treatment in a reputable boarding school may be the answer.

Regardless of where your teen stands, it’s time for you to get involved in his social media use so he can grow to be a happy, healthy, well-adjusted adult. It’s well worth the effort.

Reviewing Various Programs and Options for Defiant and Troubled Teens

Teens might act out and rebel against what they perceive to be too much authority from their parents. A child transitioning through the teen years is trying to discover who they are, and some feel like they need to do so without any help from their parents or any kind of structured activity, such as school.

These thoughts of rebellion might mean that teens are difficult to deal with, but parents need to be concerned when their teens start to become dangerous to themselves and those around them. Parents need to understand that as long as they offer a loving and supportive home, the actions of their troubled teens are not their fault. However, parents who fail to look into ways of guiding their teens back on the right path are only helping to compound the problem.

A Different Kind of Program

About one million troubled youth wind up in court every year, and some even find themselves confined to a hospital for their behavior. Reform schools, juvenile centers and halfway houses deal with some individuals, but in other cases they might just make the situation worse. A therapeutic boarding school might provide the solution to save your child’s future and bring your family back together.

In a therapeutic setting, the emphasis is moved from punishment to rehabilitation. Teens receive structure, psychological and emotional counseling, and an academic program that helps them to keep pace with the rest of their classmates. A child should find the help they need in a way that encourages their education and emotional development, which is why therapeutic centers might be a much better option for some rather than juvenile halls or reform schools.

What You Need to Know

Parents should know what to look for in these types of programs and what questions to ask. When you are considering a specific facility, you should:

  • Make sure their promises for the treatment of your teen are in writing.
  • Review and make sure the accreditation of the educational programs are by legitimate organizations.
  • Ask for staff credentials for key staff members and then look up those credentials online to make sure they check out.
  • Do a search for independent reviews of the facility online before making any decisions.
  • Visit the facility for yourself and talk to the staff.

You should also insist on seeing proof of the experience of key staff members, and make sure you talk to the clinical director so that you understand the kind of treatment your teen will receive. You need to make sure that you are putting your child in the right kind of environment with people that you can trust.

More experts are saying that troubled teens do not necessarily respond to the kind of treatment they receive in reform schools or military academies. If you have a troubled teen who needs help, then it is important to explore your options before making any final decisions. Consider a therapeutic boarding school before looking at more intensive programs.

Helping Your Teen Understand The Significance Of Extracurricular Activities

Some of your fondest memories of school are probably tied up in your extracurricular activities. Of course, you want your kid to experience that also. The benefits of extracurricular activities are many. They’re celebrated by many a parent for keeping kids busy and out of trouble. They’re also a means of personal development and help kids to make strong friendships. It is hard when you want a good thing for your child and they fight against it. Somethings to consider when you talk to your kids about participating in extracurricular activities.

  1. First, nobody wins when the discussion becomes a power struggle. Forcing your kid to participate in a specific extracurricular activity is going to come back and bite you. They will resent you, come to loathe an activity they once loved, and it can end up wasting both time and money. Instead, try to give your kid a choice between a lot of good options. Give them the power to make a decision even if you don’t agree with it.
  2. Second, your kid has interests that are different than yours. Sure, the family might be a baseball family. You played baseball, you’re brother played baseball, you’re grandpa played baseball but your kid might hate baseball. It’s not a bad thing to try something new and it’s not a bad thing for your kid to explore different talents. There is a lot of pressure on kids to specialize to earn scholarships or college entrance but consider that your kid can’t get this time of their life back. This age group should still be exploring and trying out new interests.
  3. Third, remember that your child’s concerns are legitimate. You might try to minimize the fact they are stressed out or overworked because you’re so focused on that college acceptance letter or scholarship but teens are not superhuman. The pressure put on teens in school today can be intense and stressful. Teens need downtime to relax and they need time to just be teenagers. Remember to listen with empathy. Be your child’s advocate not their taskmaster.

If your kids can’t seem to handle a traditional school workload then you may consider alternate education options. Here at Liahona Academy we specialize in helping trouble boys to get their lives back on track. Teens deal with real issues that requires professional help and treatment. If you think your teen might need some extra help please contact us today. We are here to help.