How to Deal with Apathetic Teenagers

Do you find your once lively and engaged child has morphed into an apathetic teen? Frustrating, sometimes confusing, how do you get your apathetic teenager to do more than occasionally grunt or roll his eyes at you? It can feel like your teen is being disrespectful and deliberately rude. Is your teen being disrespectful? Or does it go a little bit deeper, and there’s something else that you need to be aware of?

What does apathy look like in a teen?

Apathy can take on several different forms, based upon the individual and their set of circumstances. Apathy looks like a decreased interest in several aspects of daily life. This could include daily tasks and also social activities. It can be identified in varying degrees in those who aren’t struggling with their mental health, but it can also be a symptom of several mental health conditions, including depression. Teens may display one or more types of apathy, including:

• Behavioral apathy: displayed through a lack of self-initiated behaviors.
• General apathy: having decreased motivation, a lack of engagement with family and friends, and a poor emotional response.
• Emotional apathy: lacking both negative and positive emotions. Teens will not care either way.

In your teen, the signs of apathy could be based upon his personality, his circumstances, and any potential mental health concerns he’s struggling with. They could include some of the following:

• Struggling to complete regular everyday tasks, including showering, and eating.
• Feeling indifferent about things that once held interest.
• Feeling and displaying a lack of emotion over things should typically elicit a positive or negative response.
• Reduced interest or no longer have an interest in activities that once were a part of his life.
• Lacking any motivation to set or accomplish goals.
• Lowered energy levels make it difficult to do much.

It’s important to remember that apathy can often be a symptom of depression, but they are two separate concerns. In truth, most of us will experience apathy now and then. It becomes a concern when the apathy is persistent and begins to impact several areas of life.

Is there something else going on with your teen?

If your teen has transformed into an apathetic individual who shows little to no interest in anything going on around them, it’s a good idea to get them a mental health evaluation. A mental health professional will be able to determine whether your teen is struggling with anxiety, depression, or something else entirely that may be contributing to his being apathetic. It could be that he is struggling at school, having difficulties with his peers on the football team he’s on, or he may be struggling with unresolved trauma. If you can pinpoint a cause of his apathetic behavior, you’ll be in a better position to help your teen work through it.

How can you get an apathetic teen to engage?

As tempting as it is to raise your voice and try to force your teen into participation, it may not necessarily be the right choice for him. Therapy is one of the best ways to help your teen, and you both understand what is at the root of his apathetic behavior. If a therapist is treating him, you may get a bit of advice from his therapist as to what the best methods are to engage him. Your teen may respond better to specific activities and interests than others may. Start by trying to engage your teen in a simple conversation. Find out what he’s thinking, what he may still have a minor interest in. It could be that he still enjoys listening to his favorite music. That is an excellent jumping-off point for you to begin to engage with him. Even if you don’t appreciate the same music he does, remember that it’s more about trying to connect with him versus actually listening to the music. Apathy can make your teen feel a bit isolated and in the dark. If you can connect with him, you’ll be able to help him see that he doesn’t have to be alone with his thoughts.

• Schedule time with your teen, doing something that he enjoys.
• Offer options for activities, understanding that he can opt-out if he needs to.
• Speak with his teachers and coaches to discover what may be going on.
• Keep a positive attitude while ensuring you take care of your own mental wellness needs.
• Avoid using hard language and losing your temper. This can potentially lead him to withdraw further.

Medications and other types of therapy, including music and art, can potentially work to help your teen find his way back to caring around things that he once enjoyed. It’s important to work with mental health professionals who can help you and your teen both by addressing the true issues at hand.