What is the Forgotten Sibling? How Can Parents Help Forgotten Children Feel Loved

In families with a child who requires significant attention—whether due to medical needs, behavioral challenges, or developmental disabilities—siblings can often feel overlooked or "forgotten." These siblings, known as the “Forgotten Siblings,” may experience feelings of neglect or invisibility as the family's focus centers on the child with greater needs. This article explores the challenges faced by these siblings, offers strategies for parents to make them feel valued and loved, and provides ways to support them in school environments.

Understanding the Forgotten Sibling

The term "Forgotten Sibling" refers to children who, despite being physically present in a family, may feel emotionally neglected or overshadowed. They may struggle with feelings of isolation, believing that their needs, accomplishments, or problems are not as important as those of their sibling. This sense of invisibility can have lasting impacts on their self-esteem, emotional development, and mental health.

Challenges Faced by Forgotten Siblings

Forgotten siblings face a unique set of challenges that can influence their behavior, emotions, and academic performance. Understanding these challenges is crucial for providing the right support:

• Emotional Distress: Forgotten siblings may struggle with anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. They often internalize their emotions, feeling that their needs are secondary to those of their sibling.
• Increased Responsibility: In many cases, these siblings take on caregiving roles or additional responsibilities to help alleviate the family's stress. While this can foster maturity, it may also lead to burnout or resentment.
• Academic Struggles: Some forgotten siblings may find it difficult to focus in school, either because of stress at home or due to a lack of parental involvement in their academic life.

Statistics on the Challenges for Forgotten Children

The impact of being a forgotten sibling is well-documented:

• The Journal of Family Psychology reports that siblings of children with special needs are 60% more likely to experience symptoms of depression or anxiety than their peers.
• According to the Siblings of Children with Disabilities Survey, 70% of forgotten siblings take on caregiving responsibilities, with 40% reporting feeling overwhelmed by these roles.
• Research indicates that forgotten siblings often receive 30% less parental attention and support compared to their siblings who require additional care, affecting their emotional and academic development.

These statistics emphasize the need for parents and educators to provide targeted support to ensure that forgotten siblings feel valued and loved.

How Parents Can Help Forgotten Children Feel Loved

Parents can take several proactive steps to help forgotten children feel valued and appreciated within the family dynamic. Creating opportunities to show love and attention, even in small ways, can have a profound impact on these children’s well-being.

1. Dedicate Individual Time

Setting aside one-on-one time with each child is essential. Whether it’s a weekly outing, a shared hobby, or simply time to talk, making an effort to connect on an individual level shows your child that they matter. This dedicated time helps build a stronger bond and reinforces their importance within the family.

2. Celebrate Their Achievements

Acknowledging and celebrating the accomplishments of forgotten children, no matter how small, is important. Whether it’s a good grade, a sports achievement, or a creative project, showing pride in their efforts boosts their self-esteem and helps them feel seen. Simple gestures like displaying their artwork at home or attending their school events can make a big difference.

3. Encourage Open Communication

Forgotten siblings may hesitate to share their feelings, especially if they fear adding to their parents' stress. It’s crucial to create an environment where they feel safe expressing their thoughts and emotions. Regularly check in with them, encourage them to talk about their experiences, and validate their feelings without judgment.

4. Involve Them in Family Decisions

Making forgotten siblings feel valued means involving them in family decisions, especially those that impact their lives. By including them in discussions, you show that their opinions matter. This also helps them feel empowered and reduces feelings of helplessness or exclusion.

5. Provide Opportunities for Independence and Growth

Encouraging forgotten siblings to pursue activities that foster independence and growth is another effective way to show support. Whether it’s enrolling them in extracurricular activities or encouraging them to take on a hobby they enjoy, giving them space to develop their interests helps them build confidence and a sense of self-worth.

Supporting Forgotten Children at School

School can be both a refuge and a challenge for forgotten siblings. Supporting them academically and socially ensures they feel valued not only at home but also in their educational environment.

1. Communicate with Teachers

Parents should maintain open communication with their child’s teachers and school counselors. Sharing information about the family dynamic allows educators to better understand the challenges the child may face and to offer appropriate support, such as additional academic assistance or emotional support when needed.

2. Encourage Participation in Extracurricular Activities

Extracurricular activities provide forgotten children with opportunities to shine and build self-esteem outside the family context. Encourage them to join clubs, sports teams, or other interest-based groups. These activities allow them to form friendships, develop skills, and receive recognition for their efforts, helping them feel appreciated and valued.

3. Monitor Academic Progress and Offer Support

Many forgotten siblings may struggle with academic performance due to stress or lack of parental involvement. Regularly checking in on their progress, offering homework support, and celebrating academic achievements can help them stay engaged and motivated. If necessary, consider working with a tutor or counselor to provide additional academic and emotional support.

Liahona Treatment Center: Helping Families Thrive

At Liahona Treatment Center, we understand the challenges that forgotten siblings face and the impact it can have on their development. Our programs are designed to support the entire family, ensuring that every child feels valued, loved, and supported. We offer individual and family therapy sessions that focus on building strong family bonds, developing healthy communication skills, and providing emotional support for siblings of children with special needs. If your child is struggling with feelings of invisibility or emotional distress, reach out to Liahona Treatment Center today. Let’s work together to create an environment where all children feel loved, seen, and valued.