How to Rebuild Trust with Your Troubled Teen

Breaking promises with your teen may lead to your teen having trouble. Once damaged, trust doesn't easily return. Rebuilding that lost trust with your troubled teen can be one of the most grueling aspects of parenting. However, the result may be gratifying. Trust isn't just about keeping promises or following rules. It's about emotional connection, respect, and understanding. Recognizing the signs of a broken trust and understanding why it happened are the first steps toward rebuilding it. Strengthen your relationship with your troubled teen after experiencing broken trust by following the tips in this article.

Understanding Why and How the Distrust Happens

Ask yourself: how did it happen? Trust is fragile and many factors can contribute to its loss. Before rebuilding it, recognize and address these possible causes.

Poor communication

Communication is one of the most common reasons trust breaks between parents or caregivers and their teens. Teens often feel misunderstood and parents feel frustrated when their teen doesn't seem to listen. This miscommunication creates a barrier where both parties feel like their concerns aren't being heard.

Behavioral issues and rebellion

Rebellious behavior is often a sign of a teen trying to assert their independence. However, this behavior can also lead to distrust on the part of their parents and caregivers, especially if it includes lying, breaking rules, or engaging in risky activities.  It's important to realize that this rebellion is a normal part of adolescence. Teens are trying to figure out who they are, which sometimes results in poor decisions or defiant actions. 

External pressures

Teens are often influenced by external pressures, including their peer group, social media, and academic challenges. Peer pressure is powerful; if your teen is influenced by friends who encourage risky behavior, it undermines the trust you've worked hard to build. Your teen may also be experiencing trouble with their studies and feel frustrated.  If your teen faces difficulties from their environments, which you may not fully understand or support, they may distance themselves from you. This creates disconnection that damages trust.

Unreliable promises or broken commitments

When your teen feels let down by broken promises or commitments as a result of your failure to follow through on something they were looking forward to, they can begin to lose faith in your trustworthiness. This is especially true if the promise was important to them, like attending an event or offering support in a challenging situation. Remember, trust is built on keeping your promises, no matter how small.

Rebuilding Trust with Your Troubled Teen

Look at the following tips for rebuilding trust with your troubled teen.

Communicate honestly and openly

Start by having conversations in a safe space where you and your teen are both comfortable sharing thoughts and emotions. Try to listen with empathy and avoid reprimanding your teen; reacting without anger or judgment will yield more fruitful results. Communicating with your teen is not only about hearing what they have to say; it's also about understanding their feelings and perspectives. So, give them your full attention and show that you're genuinely interested in their narratives.

Set clear boundaries and expectations

Boundaries are necessary when rebuilding trust. Be specific about what you expect from your teens. If they also place some expectations on you, be consistent. This shows you are reliable and that your expectations are reasonable and fair. Also, ensure your teen understands the "why" behind these boundaries. Knowing why certain behaviors are unacceptable will allow them to respect those boundaries more easily. Encourage your teen to take responsibility for their actions, but reward positive behaviors that reflect trustworthiness.

Lead by example

As a parent, you may set the tone for your relationship. But if you want your teen to trust you, you must demonstrate trustworthiness through your own actions. Be consistent and transparent in your behavior. If you make a mistake, own up to it. When your teens see you being accountable, they will learn from your behavior and understand the value of honesty and integrity.

Be patient and persistent

Rebuilding trust takes time, so be patient. Your teen might not open up instantly, and you may not see immediate changes. However, consistency in your actions will pay off. Trust is rebuilt through small, everyday moments: keeping your promises, showing up when you say you will, and being emotionally available. These moments are the building blocks for trust.

Get professional help

Rebuilding trust can get overwhelming, especially if the issues seem too deep to manage alone. Getting professional help may just be the turning point you need. A therapist or counselor can provide a neutral space where both you and your teen can work through the issues that contribute to broken trust. Furthermore, they can help you learn better communication strategies and ways to connect more effectively.

Conclusion

Rebuilding trust with your troubled teen after it's been broken is not easy. You must be willing to address the underlying causes of distrust. The process is gradual, requiring patience, openness, and a commitment to lead by example. If the road gets tough, get a professional (like the staff at Liahona Academy) to guide you both through the challenges. Act now, and don't let distrust and miscommunication break your bond with your teen.