Divorce is one of the most difficult and heartbreaking processes a person can go through. After years of trouble in a marriage it can seem like a relief when the decision to end things has been made, but there is still the difficulties associated with splitting your lives apart and starting over separately.
Coparenting is one of the more difficult challenges associated with divorce. Trying to raise children in two different homes without ripping one another’s heads off can be hard for even the more harmonious of broken couples.
Whether you get along with your ex-spouse or want to tie them to train tracks, here are some life hacks you can use to at least co-parent effectively. Even if you drive one another nuts.
- Use An App To Enforce Agreements - You spent all that time in mediation figuring out the financial and custody arrangements. Why leave the enforcement of them to your own potentially bungled planning? You need to keep track of everything, from purchases to days spent with each parent to child support. There are apps out there that help you to do that, creating calendars, keeping track of financial information and more. Make sure you both have it, if possible.
- Plan Shared Family Events - This probably sounds very counter intuitive. Why would you want to spend time with your ex? You divorced them so you didn’t have to! Well, they are still the other half of the parenting dynamic and while you would probably rather avoid getting too close to your ex, your children almost certainly miss doing things as a family. Every few months try and organize a small family outing where you and your spouse are both present.
- Discuss Small Home Details and Try and Merge Them - With small children especially it can be hard having one set of rules one place and another at a different place. Add that to rules they have to follow at school and other places they regularly attend and it is asking for trouble. Consider creating a single set of rules followed at both parent’s home.
- Don’t Give Children Twice The Stuff - So many parents overcompensate in a divorce by giving their children twice as much as they used to. There is no reason to do this. Some items, such as furniture and some clothes are good to have at both. But with electronics becoming all the more portable and so much homework done online, try pulling together to buy big ticket items they can take from place to place.
- Never Talk Bad About The Other Parent, Period - This is a no-brainer. Kids don’t just pick up on words, they pick up on actions. If your ex is bad mouthing you but you don’t do the same it is going to send a clear message, while teaching your child a valuable lesson about respect and dignity.
Find out more at Liahona Academy.