My Teen Wants a Tattoo, What Can I Do?

Has your teen surprised you with the news that they want to get a tattoo? While not entirely unexpected for many teens today, it can still take parents aback when their clean-cut honor roll student wants to get a seahorse tattoo. How did you handle the initial conversation? Do you think you will take it if it comes up in the future?

Having a plan on hand can help you best handle your teen when they announce that they want to get a tattoo. Instead of laughing at them, dismissing them, or simply telling them no, there are a few better approaches that you can consider. The right path can mean the difference between continued arguments or an understanding and good conversations with your teen.

Don’t go into lecture mode

We often fall into the trap of lecturing our teens when they seem to be on the verge of making decisions that we disagree with. While this is understandable, teens don’t yet have the life experience they need to make all of the right choices; at some point, we need to trust their decision-making skills. Instead of lecturing your teen about why he doesn’t need to get a tattoo, try to understand why your teen wants a tattoo.

What is driving his sudden urge to get a tattoo? Ask him what kind of tattoo he is thinking about. Perhaps it has a strong meaning for him? It could be a few things fueling his want for a tattoo but narrowing it down may give you a better understanding of how to approach your conversations with him about tattoos.

• Remain calm, relaxed, and collected. Now is not the time to get angry and lose your temper.
• Don’t automatically dismiss him or his ideas and thoughts about tattoos.
• If you need more time to process or think about what he’s asking, simply let your teen know that you’d like to revisit the conversation later or the following day.

The way you approach your conversation with your teen is just as important as the conversation itself. If your teen feels attacked, put down, or made to feel like he’s making the wrong decision, it will be more of a challenge to get him to trust you and trust in your ability to guide him to healthy choices.

The importance of waiting

In many states, teens cannot get tattoos without the consent of a parent. This is good news for many parents. But it can bring up significant resentment and several arguments if your teen insists that he get the tattoo he wants.

There are a few reasons to wait to get a tattoo, some of which may help to convince your teen to pause his plans.

• Some medications to treat acne can slow the healing process. This can potentially lead to slow-to-heal tattoos, infections, and disfiguration. If your teen is undergoing acne treatment, it is best to wait until the treatment has ended and his skin has completely healed.
• Not all tattoo studios will adhere to the same hygiene and sterilization standards. It is worth selecting a studio and artist with a solid reputation to get the best results.
• There is a high infection risk associated with tattoos, even when completed by a professional with the highest standards. When a tattoo gets infected, it can lead to many serious complications that can risk your teen’s health.
• Can your teen afford to pay for his tattoo? The expectation may be for you to pay for it. Let him know that since getting a tattoo is a very adult decision, he should be willing and able to pay for it himself.
• Let’s talk regret. Your teen may not think it today, but there may come a day in his future when he regrets his choice in a tattoo. It does, of course, depend on his motivation for the tattoo. If he is looking to memorialize perhaps someone he’s lost, he’s unlikely to regret that decision. On the other hand, if he’s looking to get a tattoo of a favorite band’s name, he may regret that one day in the future.
• While many in the business world have become more tolerant of tattoos, there are still places that will ask their employees to cover up tattoos. This could potentially limit your teen’s future career options.

I have tattoos. How can I tell my teen not to get one?

It can be hard to convince a teen not to get a tattoo if you have one or more tattoos. Instead of coming across as a hypocrite, you could take this opportunity to discuss any regrets you may have about your tattoos. You should reinforce to him that you are glad that you waited until you were old enough to make the right decisions for yourself and that you waited to get your tattoo done by a skilled professional.

If your teen’s out-of-character behavior includes other bad decisions, breaking curfew, and spending time with new friends who are not a good influence, you may need to step in and get him the correct type of help. Teens in crisis or otherwise struggling can find great benefit from a residential treatment center that can help them refocus and redirect their lives.