While it may not feel like you have much of an influence over your teen’s behavior, the truth may actually be quite different. Certainly, teens are influenced by their teachers and school administrators, coaches, and other adults in their lives. But it’s parents who will have the greatest influence on shaping the behavior of a teenager.
As you’re dealing with a teen who may be making poor decisions and behaving in an angry or inappropriate way, it may be hard to see how you can possibly influence him in a positive way right now.
How parents influence teens positively
You are your teen’s main influence in his life. You’re his primary caregiver, and you know him better than most others will. While it is certainly easy to get drawn into an argument and high-stress conversation with your teen, you do have the opportunity and ability to demonstrate calm and rational conversations with your teen when you’re interacting with him. As his voice gets louder, yours should not. If need be, walk away from heated arguments so that you can clear your mind and return to the conversation feeling calmer. These are the types of behaviors that your teen will learn to model when it comes to discussions. Even if the discussions are heated, and he finds himself angry and frustrated.
The same is true for having a positive attitude and outlook. How you treat your teen and other people will go a long way toward influencing how your teen ultimately responds. He may currently be angry and frustrated, but these modeled behaviors will stick with him as he learns to adjust and refocus his life.
Another way that you can be a positive influence and role model, and effectively help to shape your teen’s future, is by being firm in your values. What are your values? We all strive to be good people, certainly. But are there opportunities to improve the way you behave and treat others? Are there ways that you can give back to your community?
Your teen looks to you as his primary guide throughout these important years. It may take a bit of time for him to acknowledge it, but you should keep it in mind.
How schools can help
Your teen’s school does more than make sure he reads his textbooks and turns in assignments. There are opportunities for schools to provide teens with the guidance and structure that they need in their everyday life. This guidance and structure shouldn’t replace what they are getting at home but rather work in conjunction with their positive and structured homelife.
Teachers have the opportunity to guide teens into making the right choices for their future, as do coaches and other members of the faculty. Do you know how your teen’s school is helping your teen? There may be an opportunity for a conversation with teachers, coaches, and guidance counselors.
Working together with schools and other positive influences
If your teen has been struggling, there is no better way to start to help him than by ensuring everyone in his life is in his corner. This includes those teachers and others who see him every day at school.
Let them know the types of things that your teen is struggling with. They may also have a bit of insight into what he’s struggling with at school. It could be that your teen is being bullied or harassed, which could set off his bad decision-making and poor behaviors.
Communication is such an important part of every relationship, including the relationships that you have with other people who play a role in your teen’s life. Keep that communication open, and you’ll be in a better position to continue to steer and influence his life in a positive way.
Are you considering sending your teen to a residential treatment center? Call us at Liahona Academy to find out how our programs have helped troubled teens learn to redirect and redefine their behaviors.
Who has more control over teen behavior, parents or schools?
While it may not feel like you have much of an influence over your teen’s behavior, the truth may actually be quite different. Certainly, teens are influenced by their teachers and school administrators, coaches, and other adults in their lives. But it’s parents who will have the greatest influence on shaping the behavior of a teenager.
As you’re dealing with a teen who may be making poor decisions and behaving in an angry or inappropriate way, it may be hard to see how you can possibly influence him in a positive way right now.
How parents influence teens positively
You are your teen’s main influence in his life. You’re his primary caregiver, and you know him better than most others will. While it is certainly easy to get drawn into an argument and high-stress conversation with your teen, you do have the opportunity and ability to demonstrate calm and rational conversations with your teen when you’re interacting with him. As his voice gets louder, yours should not. If need be, walk away from heated arguments so that you can clear your mind and return to the conversation feeling calmer. These are the types of behaviors that your teen will learn to model when it comes to discussions. Even if the discussions are heated, and he finds himself angry and frustrated.
The same is true for having a positive attitude and outlook. How you treat your teen and other people will go a long way toward influencing how your teen ultimately responds. He may currently be angry and frustrated, but these modeled behaviors will stick with him as he learns to adjust and refocus his life.
Another way that you can be a positive influence and role model, and effectively help to shape your teen’s future, is by being firm in your values. What are your values? We all strive to be good people, certainly. But are there opportunities to improve the way you behave and treat others? Are there ways that you can give back to your community?
Your teen looks to you as his primary guide throughout these important years. It may take a bit of time for him to acknowledge it, but you should keep it in mind.
How schools can help
Your teen’s school does more than make sure he reads his textbooks and turns in assignments. There are opportunities for schools to provide teens with the guidance and structure that they need in their everyday life. This guidance and structure shouldn’t replace what they are getting at home but rather work in conjunction with their positive and structured homelife.
Teachers have the opportunity to guide teens into making the right choices for their future, as do coaches and other members of the faculty. Do you know how your teen’s school is helping your teen? There may be an opportunity for a conversation with teachers, coaches, and guidance counselors.
Working together with schools and other positive influences
If your teen has been struggling, there is no better way to start to help him than by ensuring everyone in his life is in his corner. This includes those teachers and others who see him every day at school.
Let them know the types of things that your teen is struggling with. They may also have a bit of insight into what he’s struggling with at school. It could be that your teen is being bullied or harassed, which could set off his bad decision-making and poor behaviors.
Communication is such an important part of every relationship, including the relationships that you have with other people who play a role in your teen’s life. Keep that communication open, and you’ll be in a better position to continue to steer and influence his life in a positive way.
Are you considering sending your teen to a residential treatment center? Call us at Liahona Academy to find out how our programs have helped troubled teens learn to redirect and redefine their behaviors.
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