Why Positive Reinforcement Works Better Than Punishment with Troubled Teens

When a teen misbehaves, your first reaction might naturally be anger. Then, your instinct might tell you to punish your teen for that misbehavior. A punishment might drive home the consequences of their actions... but does it last?  Punishments don't always work, especially with troubled teens who are already struggling with behavioral issues. However, punishment often leads to short-term results while damaging trust between the parent or guardian and the teen. It's safe to say that handing out punishments may not be the most efficient way to deal with troubled teens. So, why not try out positive reinforcement instead? That can be a more effective approach for troubled teens, fostering growth, mutual respect, and more lasting change. Find out why positive reinforcement works better than punishment and how parents can apply it in their daily interactions.

Why Punishment Often Fails

There are many reasons why punishing troubled teens may fail. Explore the following reasons.

1. Punishments spark resentment and rebellion: Punishments often create resentment in teens. Then, they may act out in rebellion. This leads to more conflict instead of resolution.
2. Punishments are based on fear and intimidation: Punishing teens may sometimes result in compliance, but it is born out of fear. As a result, they fail to understand their mistakes and may not be willing to change.
3. Punishments only result in temporary compliance: Yes, punishments may stop teens from misbehaving temporarily, but they don't touch on the causes. For example, grounding a ten for poor grades doesn't help them manage their time or study effectively.
4. Punishments cause emotional damage: Punitive measures erode trust. They often make teens feel misunderstood instead, resulting in harming their self-esteem. In extreme cases, they even cause anxiety and depression.

As you can see, punishments don't always work as they should. If you insist on punishing your teens, you may damage your relationship with them in the long term.

The Benefits of Positive Reinforcement

Using a technique that encourages desired behavior by rewarding it with something enjoyable can be preferable to punishments. This is called positive reinforcement. The idea behind this technique is to reward good behavior to encourage it to happen again. Experts also stress that consistency and sincerity are the keys to making positive reinforcement effective. Parents or guardians of troubled teens are recommended to use it for the following reasons.

1. It builds trust. Recognizing and rewarding good behavior strengthens the parent-teen relationship and creates an environment of open communication.
2. It encourages natural motivation. Positive reinforcement invites teens to do what's right and motivates them to make better choices because they want to, not out of fear.
3. It promotes lasting changes. Teens learn to internalize positive habits that lead to improvements that can last for a long time.
4. It boosts self-esteem. Regular praise and rewards help teens feel valued and confident in their abilities.

Practical Tips for Using Positive Reinforcement

Here are some things to remember when you use positive reinforcement with your teen:

1. Identify positive behaviors: Notice the actions you want to encourage in your teens like doing homework, helping with chores, or showing kindness. 
2. Give rewards for positive behaviors: A reward can be something your teen enjoys doing (extra screen time or a later bedtime) or it can be something as simple as a thumbs-up, a hug, or verbal praise. If your teen hits a truly important milestone, the reward can be material.
3. Be consistent: Recognize your teen's good behavior regularly. Avoid focusing only on their mistakes. Consistency helps reinforce the message that positive actions matter.
4. Be genuine: Teens can detect insincerity, so your rewards and compliments should be meaningful. Try, "I appreciate you did the chores without being asked," instead of just "Thanks, good job."

Conclusion

Punishing troubled teens may not work because it creates resentment, broken trust, and short-term changes. While it might seem like a quick fix, it's more efficient to handle your troubled teens by showing them positive reinforcement instead. It builds trust, encourages long-term growth, and strengthens parent-teen relationships. Rewarding positive behaviors and being constant and truthful with the rewards can set the stage for a more lasting change and healthier communication. However, if your troubled teen needs a stronger support system, get in touch with Liahona Academy. Consult with us on how to handle your troubled teen today.