Tips for Parents to Help Manage Teen Anger and Defiance

Your teenager and you may experience turbulent times during adolescence due to the numerous changes and difficulties that come with the teen years. Helping your teenager learn healthy coping mechanisms for their anger and defiance is necessary. However, understanding why your child is angry and tapping into the right tips to help them navigate through their feelings can be challenging on your own. In addition, it’s also essential to determine what feelings and behaviors are normal and what ones are concerning. That’s why our team at Liahona Academy strives each day to put resources and a support system into place so that teens and their parents can find their way. We’ve worked with many parents, just like you, and their teens to assist in finding the path of least resistance—or at least one that helps everyone better understand what is happening and what steps to take to push past it. This blog highlights the long-term advantages of anger management for kids while delving into the root reasons for teen defiance and anger. It also provides helpful parenting advice for when you need it most.

Recognizing the Fundamental Sources of Teenage Disobedience and Anger

Understanding the reasons behind teenage anger and defiance is crucial before discussing strategies for handling these behaviors. While no teen is alike and some underlying issues are harder than others to uncover, some common factors to consider are outlined below.

• Identity Crisis: Adolescents are going through a period of self-discovery, which frequently leads to disobedience as they go against social norms and expectations. Some pushing against the lessons they’ve learned is normal, but it can go beyond that at times, leading toward more significant issues.
•  Peer pressure: Teens' classmates have a big influence on them, and when parents set rules or express concerns about their choices, the desire to fit in can lead to resentment and disobedience. This isn’t a new concept, but today’s teens have a wider reach through technology. 
• Academic Stress: Teens may have emotional outbursts due to stress and frustration stemming from their pursuit of academic excellence. Like peer pressure, this isn’t new, but today’s academic stress is increasingly more intense due to rising costs for higher education, the increase in alternative education options, and the shift toward how teens and young adults view their lives after high school. For instance, many aren’t striving for the career their parents did; they’re simply looking for a job they will enjoy. This shift is sometimes difficult for parents to understand, causing additional issues.
• Emotional Regulation: Teenagers who are having trouble controlling their emotions frequently react angrily as a result of their inability to do so. Therapy, positive peer groups, and open communication can also assist with this and are a core part of the Liahona program. Our staff consists of experienced mental health advocates working together to help teens process their feelings and learn how to manage them better.
• Dependence vs. Independence: Teenagers struggle with wanting to be independent yet still needing their parents. When they feel too controlled, this internal conflict can show up as resistance.

How Can Parents Help?

The first thing to understand is that you don’t have to do this on your own. It’s helpful to reach out to others to surround you and your teen with support. Doing so gives you a different perspective and allows both of you to grow. In addition, you can practice the following techniques to see if they might help:

• Open Communication: Promote honest, nonjudgmental dialogue. Make sure your adolescent understands that they may confide in you about their emotions and worries without worrying about the consequences.
• Establish Reasonable and Clearly Defined Boundaries: Clearly state the rules and the reasons behind them, along with the consequences of breaking them. Clarity can reduce defiance.
• Pick Your Battles: Not every problem calls for conflict. Carefully choose your battles and let some small transgressions slide by to keep the parent-teen relationship positive.
• Active Listening: Use active listening techniques when your adolescent shows signs of resistance or rage. Try to see things from their point of view, even if you disagree. This affirmation might lessen their frustration. 
• Teach Anger Management: Help your adolescent learn how to control their rage. Constructive coping strategies for anger management include writing, slow breathing, and counting to 10.
• Encourage Healthy Outlets: Encourage participation in sports, hobbies, or artistic endeavors that provide them with a constructive way to let out their emotions.

The Benefits of Anger Management Throughout Life

Beyond helping them feel better, there are other long-term benefits to teaching teenagers anger management skills. People who are able to control their anger are able to communicate their wants and worries to others without resorting to violence, which promotes healthier relationships. In addition, anger control methods improve mental health and lower stress levels, which improve general health and life satisfaction. Teens can enhance the benefits by learning other mental health tips like journaling and meditation. When they feel comfortable with these skills, they can rely on them when they feel anger building.  Also, the ability to control one's anger promotes improved problem-solving abilities. It gives people the tools they need to face problems with clarity and reason, rather than acting on impulse. This is significant for today’s teen generation, as problem-solving doesn’t come naturally. Finally, managing anger contributes to the development of self-control, which is a necessary quality in many spheres of life, such as personal finances and professional advancement.

Contact Our Team For Support Today

Many normal instances of teenage defiance and anger can be constructively controlled with parental understanding and support. You can assist your teen in effectively navigating this time by addressing the underlying reasons for these feelings, promoting open communication, establishing clear boundaries, and teaching anger control. Additionally, teaching your teen helpful anger management skills will equip them for adulthood. However, when your teen’s issues go beyond what might be considered normal, it’s essential to reach out for help. If you’re unsure what to do and worried that your teen might be headed for trouble, contact our team to see how we can help.